You Control Your Happy


On September 11th, I was traveling abroad with my Mom. We had stopped for lunch when we got a call from the States to say that a plane had hit the World Trade Center. The lively music in the restaurant was turned off and the radio on. “Terrorista” was all I understood.  


How horrific to have been on one of the planes.  What would I have done?


Author Byron Katie may have you connect with the terrorist. What a gift to be able to do that.


Her book “The Work” outlines a four question method which can be used in any stressful scenario. Granted 9/11 is an extreme circumstance, her approach could potentially save a life. It saved hers.


When triggered, she recommends focusing on love rather than being loved and to be grateful when bad things happen.


Yes GRATEFUL (I know it’s hard).


She writes, “If someone slaps me in the face, why am I happy? Because it is OVER!”


This anxiety-reducing plan is a new way to look at struggle.



Heady Stuff


Katie advises that suffering (which happens in our minds and the world, because OUR mind is OUR world) is not reality___it is a story in our heads. Every human being has a different story.


Okay, so this is some heady stuff…but stick with me.  Here are the questions to ask yourself when confronted:


1.       Is it true? 

2.       Is it absolutely true?  Go deeper.

3.       How do you react when you think the thought?  How does the thought make you feel?

4.       Who would you be without the thought? How would your life be different without that stressful thought? 


The author invites you to turn the thought around and experience the opposite of what you originally believed which is a freeing/more peaceful feeling.


Love your enemy. 



Keep Your Cool


She describes a life and death situation where a man mugged her with a gun in Central Park. When the man said he was going to kill her she said, “Thank you for doing your best. If this is your best, then I understand.”  He was so shocked he ran away. We are All One and we are all connected…even the man with the gun.


We often fall victim to our thoughts when in fact no one has the power to make us angry, sad or happy.  Only YOU have that power.


I am not promoting to not feel sadness or pain. And our fight or flight response is critical to survival. The message is to not linger and MOVE ON.  


So the next time you encounter what appears to be negativity, try to take a step back and think. Instead of being frustrated or passing judgment, ask the four questions and come out better for it.


YOU are in control of your happiness, do NOT give that power to anyone.

For more about moving forward, click here for my blog, "Be Big."