Happy Inside

Photo by Canva

Photo by Canva

I get asked all the time why I am not hitched. At a recent wedding, the mother of the bride said to me, “We have waited SO LONG for Joanie* to be married.” 


Really? People still think this way?  This mentality (that girls HAVE to be married) is one reason we’re in a tell-all season of sexual assault in the workplace.  Our society has raised a generation of needy, money/attention-starved women seeking love and validation outside of themselves through material things, career, and men.  They’re willing to do just about anything to access it.


No doubt there is merit to most of the allegations and I am not defending perverts.


But what are ya doing alone in your bosses’ hotel room? Let me tell you, at the first sign of a dude in a robe, (don’t care who it is) I’m out. You’re not going find love there. Try looking inside yourself instead. Why can’t we teach our girls to be wise women who know better?

Image from Sharon Salzberg

Image from Sharon Salzberg


From the perspective of one who has witnessed, I am addressing the epidemic of empty women who put themselves in compromising positions…gold diggers and “home wreckers” who believe that they will be fulfilled by a man or a job.



There is no time for dishonesty and I've never understood those who have affairs. Why would you settle for someone who is unavailable? And what is society’s role? Who raised the people who don’t know right from wrong?  How do you trust someone who was unfaithful?


Is your “wound” different than mine and so deep you deserve a pass to cheat or be disrespectful?


Psychologists say we have “holes” within us that are filled with affairs, gambling, sex, shopping, food, alcohol, drugs, and addictions.



We are attempting to fill a void that can only be satisfied by loving ourselves which comes from behavior that makes us feel good about the kind of human beings we are.


We’ve All Been There

Yes it takes two to tango and every story has two sides if not more!


We all have flaws. What is paramount is to exercise good judgment and make every choice a smart one.

I once had an opportunity to meet up with a married colleague and chose not to.

Stay out of questionable situations. And stay out of people’s hotel rooms. You know in your heart what is right-CHOOSE IT!


Your Actions have a Ripple Effect

Fact is that what is in one is in the whole. We must first fill ourselves up with positivity, healthy habits and interactions if only for the greater good.  

We must raise honorable, truthful, morally strong women whose security comes from inside rather than from a man, the size of a bank account or set of pectorals. Seeking happiness outside yourself never works.


Have a Plan

 If you are harassed or bullied, stand up for yourself. Have a plan of attack.


Confront the individual. Do not be afraid. Courage is ACCESSIBLE at any time. You are brave and fearless___don’t let anyone influence you to think differently. Stand up for what is right!


Consensual, forced, married, single, robed, naked, patted, pet, grabbed, pussy foot under the table…ANY abuse or assault is humiliating and a disgrace to human dignity, no matter what side you are on. We must rise up against it.


Do not settle for unavailable men.


Be discerning and know that your guy is out there. He’s not married, nor your boss in a robe alone with you in a suite. The only robed man you should be hanging with is the Pope. He’s still trustworthy right?






*name change